“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”
~ Marcel Proust
676 miles away.
NYC ~ The Big Apple.
She left on Monday morning. A regular trip to school, only this time instead of her backpack, she was sporting an adorable carry on and a rolling suitcase that would meet the requirements for checked baggage.
How did this happen? The calendar pages have flipped so quickly…
She had talked about this trip since she was in 5th grade. All the “8th years” (Montessori term for 8th graders) go on a trip to New York. That day she put a quarter in the first of her three jars.
“Save. Spend. Share”
The glass container had been filling up with change ever since. Emma dreamed of New York. The more she learned of the historical sites, the museums, the parks…her anticipation grew.
Fast forward approximately 1,000 days and it actually arrived. The countdown on the chalkboard in the hallway read “0” days to NYC. We were packing a lunch for the airport and making sure that she had cozy things for the cold, city breezes that may blow in March.
My adventurer. My explorer.
No longer are we digging in the garden to find shoots and bugs. Now it is new people, new cultures to discover. Our little jaunts to the park and hikes in the woods will become new cities and places she’s only studied on the globe.
God has BIG plans for this girl!
So, we loaded her bags and I sent my “joy” with her….
The texts and photos were coming in. My sweet Louise was on the adventure of a lifetime!
All those amazing New York experiences…she was IN it! The Statue of Liberty. Grand Central Station. Broadway. 5th Avenue. Wall Street. Times Square. And the quaint little diners. 
It never ceases to amaze me how God weaves it all together. Her trip. My time alone, with Him.
If we are open, He grows us closer to Him.
And, for me, especially during the difficult and lonely times.
I knew it would be a challenge without Emma at home. These glimpses into the years ahead are God’s way to prepare my heart, I suppose.
Spring is upon us.
Another year of the changing seasons. Another opportunity to look at the beauty before me, rather than the challenges of this life.
Like the quote from Marcel Proust, above, this time apart from my darling daughter can be a chance for me to see the landscapes of my life in a new way.
The world tells us that this time of life, when our children are growing away from home looks like “an empty nest”. Our fledglings leave behind a space in our lives and in our hearts. A void.
In that void, darkness can seem palpable. There are shadows and uncertainty.
But despite these circumstances, I always have a choice. I can choose to focus on the emptiness…or I can choose to focus my eyes on the Cross. On my Savior.
Wednesday morning was a rough one. I woke up emotionally exhausted. Missing Emma. Anxious about her being taken care of. All the while, getting myself ready for a long and full schedule at work that day. I dropped something on my way to the car, stumbling and weak I began to cry.
I stood silent for a moment and caught my tears. I asked God to move me through this day as I didn’t have the strength. But I knew in Him, I did. I gathered up my emotions, wiped the mascara from my cheeks and paused.
Breathe…
I prayed the Lord to hold me. To keep me focused on Him. Because today, and every day that He gives me on this earth is not about me, but about my doing His work. I had seen Him shine his light through me on days that I felt impossible to work with.
Today was another opportunity for Him to do just that.
The hours passed and day went on.
I was tired but blessed. Worn but worthy ~ because of Christ.
And as I look back on Wednesday, I can see His redemption in it. He is using this time of brokenness to draw me closer to Him.
Trying to fill the empty time or an empty heart with anything but Christ is what truly leaves us feeling lost.
It is when we sit with Him, in His holy presence that we are filled.
I was able to choose the Cross on Wednesday. And as I sat quietly in my car to head home that evening, instead of falling tears I had a heart abundant and overflowing with gratitude.
That’s how He works. 
So here I am, basking in the light of His love. Awaiting my daughter’s arrival. She will be hopping the plane soon.
Her flight is on schedule. This mama rejoices ~ looking forward to our reunion!
We will each be different people than were on Monday, the last time we saw each other.
In just a mere 8 hours, I will be able to hug her and hold her again!
Until then…I’m heading out for a walk to take in the beauty of the day.
It is through these lenses of trust that I can find true peace in my life. Peace to enjoy a walk even when things don’t feel “in order”. I used to focus on the fear of what could happen. No more.
No matter what the day brings, He is holding it all in His great and sovereign hands.
And that is where I chose to rest.
What a beautiful landscape it is!
My Sweet Louise 
Please share your thoughts.