He usually scratches at the door to come in around midnight.
This time, he didn’t.
After much searching and calling to him in the morning, I finally found him. Curled up in a pile of leaves, too weak to lift his head or to even meow. Wisps of air passed his lips as he breathed shallow. Exhausted. He had been badly battered in a fight the night before.
I wrapped him a blanket and gently scooped him up to take him inside.
Our dear Emmett.
The next two days were torment for his body and agony to our hearts. We watched him hour by hour. Listless and worn. Sleeping so much. He didn’t want to be touched. The warm hum of his purring was absent. It seemed our boy wasn’t going to make it.
They say that cats have nine lives.
Our buddy ~ maybe only six.
Anticipating his passing from this life, we spent time with him, reminiscing.
…
The days in the cool, green grass of the garden. He would scratch a log. Climb a tree. Run crazy through the yard. Then…he would find rest beneath the broad shade of the hosta leaves.
Sunny summer days spent out on the old wooden dock. He would patiently wait as Emma caught those shimmering, silvery minnows for him. A tasty treat.
Evenings when my sweet Louise was small. I would read to her before bed every night. Story-time. Just as soon as we were tucked in for a book, Emmett would always jump up on her bed to snuggle. He loved to be read to.
…
But things have changed for now.
Emma has brought story-time to Emmett.
Every day she has read to him. A picture book. The ones that she remembered he liked most when she was little…
He laid for those days in the window-seat downstairs.
Overlooking the garden and the water. His favorite places to be. Through the open window, music of birdsong. On a breeze he could catch the smell of the lake. These simple gifts seemed to bring his weary body peace. We counted our blessings as we wondered the number of hours or days we would still have to spend with him.
And in that precious but painful time, God called us to stillness.
To wait on Him.
To know that He is God.
In this tender time, I contemplated the ‘number of lives’ that I had been given.
How many times that I’ve been saved by God’s Grace.
…
During the abuse as a child, I can look back and vividly recall. Not the emotional and physical trauma of that time, but how Christ held and protected me. I remember the out-of-body experiences. I would find myself high up in the corner of the room ~ above the ugliness. Above the molestation. It was like a silent movie playing as I watched what was happening below.
I heard no sound. I felt no pain. It was the way that God guarded me from the experience. My Jesus was holding me then. Protecting my tender soul from something no child should ever endure.
…
The years living blind in an alcoholic marriage.
Succumbed to the effects of the disease in our marriage and the illusions of the alcoholic’s control. Wandering lost in the fog of overwhelming anxiety. Fear became my only companion. Anger and rage worked furiously to build walls around my heart. A fortress that closed me in. Wrapped in resentment, I desperately tried to numb the unceasing anguish. Despite the focus on my misery, God still pursued me.
In my fallen, broken and frightened place, He found a way in. His hand outstretched to give me Hope. A soulful respite ~ a chance to focus on His Love rather than the mountains before me.
…
A decade of judgement and anger toward those people in my life. My wounded heart expressing itself in defensive exchanges. Clouded by feelings of hatred. My mind occupied by negativity and trepidation. I embodied the very furthest thing from the image of Christ. How it saddens me to look back at that time. Knowing now, that my young, impressionable daughter was seeing her mother that way.
I could spend my life in regret, self-loathing, and guilt for who I was at that time in my life. Believe me, I walked that dark and lonesome path for years. But, He chases after me… so that I can run to the Cross and into His open arms. Embraced by His redemption, freedom makes a home in my heart. The freedom of forgiveness. The freedom found only in surrender. Surrender of the old hurts and the selfish ways that I responded to them.
For in Christ, I have been given another life. Yet again.
Another new life.
I am overwhelmed by His goodness as I watch in awe at how He allows me to be an instrument of His Light, in these same circles. These same people who were burdened by my seething pain, can now bask in the warmth and Light of His love as it overflows from my new, and open heart.
That I might become more like Him.
Everyday…new mercies.
…
Waiting with God in the difficult times can reveal so much.
Focusing on Him and not our circumstances, we choose a higher road. A vantage point, if you will. When we are quietly in His presence, calm will blanket our hurt. When we move through the pain, we can move into His arms. Standing with Christ, our firm foundation, the noise of the situation begins to lessen in our heads. We can begin to see more clearly. That no matter what is happening….His Love remains.
Constant and abiding.
You see, I used to resist reality. Ignoring the things I didn’t want to admit were truly happening in my life. Situations that seemed too painful to endure. People who seemed too wicked to face. Frightened of my vulnerability. Of being hurt again.
As He draws me closer in this relationship, I come to learn that I have been given a tremendous gift in the freedom to choose my thoughts. And choosing Him is always the safest place to be.
For He is our armor.
Our stronghold.
Our shield.
Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
…
If we could only grasp the closeness of God.
Of how He truly lives with us. In us. We are His precious children and He is our Father. He calls us to Him for comfort. When we are wounded in the battles of this life, He nurtures us with His Love so that we can again find our feet beneath us. Our steady ground.
There are so many things for us to look at and worry about in this physical world. This world that is bound by sin. Every day, more violence against humanity. Every day, more sickness and greed. This is not what He intended for us.
This is what we chose through the sin of Adam and Eve.
But God has given us this free will. We are free to choose to love Him more than this world.
His greatness is bigger than any heartache, any pain, any circumstance.
And His promise to us is that He will ALWAYS be there for us.
That we will be held through it all.
And I can see this. I can feel this in my life as He continues to reveal Himself to me in the challenges. In the dark days.
Christ calls us to His redeeming Love that eclipses all fear.
So that we would no longer be afraid of anything.
Anyone.
Or any situation.
God’s great Hands have been at work once again.
I took Emmett outside today for a breath of sweet summer air. He walked over to the garden and laid beneath those hosta leaves. A once familiar sight.
Maybe our dear Emmett does have nine lives after all : )
And I have been given hundreds, even thousands of ‘lives’ on this journey.
As I look back on my trials thus far, I have always made it through. Because of His strength. Because of His Grace. I can see the story of my life being written. Each new experience completes another page.
Written throughout the chapters and between each line is a constant theme.
His everlasting and triumphant Love.
Each new paragraph begins with my ever growing trust in Him.
This evening’s proof of His Grace is here with Emmett… who just climbed the stairs and came to rub his head at my feet, to purr warm and soft once again.
My Sweet Louise 
Please share your thoughts.