Stepping out of your plans and into His arms.

September.

The air is cool at the break of day. Fog settles in to blanket the earth in quiet for the first hours of morning.

I step outside into the silence.

It’s early.

The smell of dawn now wet on the grass.

A billowy, white veil covers the lake. The horizon hidden by clouds. Vapors of mist gently caress the surface and wash the world in an ivory haze.

There’s something magical about the fog.

From childhood we imagine walking through the storybook pages into a misty forest. Adventures await us.

Mystery abounds.

Like that child, I walked out onto the pier this morning and lowered myself into the kayak.

Then paddled off into the milky beyond.

1 Corinthians 13:12

We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing Him directly just as He knows us!

…

God called me out on the water today.

He needed to pull me close and do a little teaching.

This boat on the water, a metaphor for my life.

It seems I’ve been paddling a long while. More times than not it can seem as if up-stream. The current, the pace at which we live, easily pulling me off course.

Days flowing into weeks, as my vessel is loaded down with a great weight of this existence.

Watching this world whirl round-and-round.

The swirling of sadness that lurks in the shadows of illness. Clutching the lives of loved ones as they struggle to find balance. To find healing.

Watching friends grapple with emptiness and loss.

Loss of parents.

Of spouses.

Of children.

And anxiety. Flooding the minds of our youth. This generation where desperation and depression are commonplace.

The constant stories of bullying.

Threats of violence at our doorstep.

The very environment we live in ~ poisoned. The air we breath, the water we drink, and the foods we eat, all on the verge of toxic.

I contemplate the world that my Sweet Louise wakes up to everyday.

This is not what I planned.

It was all supposed to be different.

When fear grabs hold of my hand, there’s a tightening in my chest and it feels as if my paddle has been tossed overboard. No way to steer. Left to be blown by the winds of circumstance.

My boat and my heart are burdened. And I know I need to lighten the load.

But how?

Try harder?

Work more?

Run faster?

The answer is the irony itself.

The world tells us we need to do more to secure our place. That we need to accomplish more in order to deserve rest. That we must keep running to assure our completion of the race.

Instead…Christ calls us to quiet.

He calls us to wisdom.

To slow down.

To be in His presence.

God invites us to step out of this world and into His embrace.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.

We are loved by the Master of the universe.

The same God who redeemed our sins is the same one who called me out onto the water this morning.

And with Him there is peace.

As I look back and consider the ways that He has cared for me through the cloudy and burdened seasons of my life, I come to know the essence of who He is.

This God who carried me to safety in the years of abuse. In my childhood. In my marriage.

This God has continued to provide loving examples of His kindness in the people He has placed on our path.

That we might know His compassion and forgiveness.

That we might touch Grace.

And today, this Almighty God has lovingly carved out a place for me to rest in His safe harbor.

…

The morning fog caused me to be still.

To be present.

To listen.

In my time alone with Him as I paddled through the brume, I trusted that He would show me the way out on the water.

I didn’t know where He was leading me, just that I was supposed to go.

There was a lesson in store.