Sunshine greeted me this morning.
A rare treat in these past weeks of winter’s gray.
I made my way toward the window with the southern exposure.
Mmmmmm.
The sun shone warm and inviting. Refracting light through the small, clear glass vase on the sill.
The vase that gently cupped a once dormant bulb.
A hyacinth-to-be.
Now, delicate pink blossoms had pushed forth. A lovely, faint perfume filled the air.
Fragrant and new.
The roots had grown long despite winter’s dreary days.
Tender shoots reaching down to bring life to the sleeping tuber.
Even in the sunshine, tiny wisps of snowflakes fall like frozen mist from heaven.
The vast blue bed of sky strewn with occasional pillows of silvery gray. Puffed and plump. Reminders that we are still under the enchanting spell of winter.
Chickadees sing as they visit the feeder.
Cardinals call from the treetops, making their way toward the feast. Their crimson wings flitting through the maple branches.
Vibrant, ruby-red.
Nature’s feathered valentines.
…
All the while on the other side of my window I’m sewing valentines of my own.
Soft, cozy pieces of flannel cut into heart-shapes and filled with rice. Sweet little hand-warmers. A perfect size to hold on those cold and brisk February days.
Stitched by hand.
Infused with love.
These small gifts will be sent across the miles.
Miles between us ~ my family and friends. Miles that may separate our homes but never our hearts.
So, today I’m packing up my love to send to them.
Tissue tucked.
Ribbons wrapped.
Then it’s off to the post office.
1 John 4:19
We love because he first loved us.
In this space of mid-winter, I find solace in the quiet time.
Time for thoughtful reflection on my life.
Considering how the years are stitched together.
Not with flannels and colorful threads. But instead ~ with God’s endearing grace.
Sometimes the miles that lie in between can be right at home. The ones we love the most can seem so far away.
Differences and distractions clouding our existence like a thick and blinding fog.
My Sweet Louise and I have been frequenting this dismal space as she contemplates her future.
The dreams that take her in a direction for her life are leading me to fear.
Fear flogged with unanswerable questions.
But what if…? And how will you…? What about…? Or…?
My days have more recently become burdened.
Fretting over the possibilities that lie before her. Future outcomes. Potential pitfalls had hazards after high-school.
A mother’s prerogative perhaps.
This woeful worry.
But I have found myself spending too much time wrapped in its clutches.
And I want to find my way out.
Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
It is in that prayerful place of pondering that God reminded me of a poignant time in our not so distant past.
A time when I feared and He swept in to save.
…
Emma was just six years old. And the story goes like this...
She was in first grade and emotionally struggling at her, then, school.
The environment that was set to encourage a love of learning had now become weighted and heavy. One day she tearfully told me that her teacher said ‘she asked too many questions’.
This beautiful and inquisitive little soul was being clipped to fit a framework of limitation.
I watched her tiny spirit being crushed with each passing day.
Enter in the angry winds of divorce. Blowing darkness and fear into her fragile heart. This distress, now added to the already exhausting academic turmoil.
And as her mother, I can look back and see a common thread that was often pulled through the fabric that defined that time in my life.
The threads of wretched fear and anxiety.
Knotting up my stomach.
Tangling my sense of peace.
My then thoughts were questions of control. I became a siphon of stress.
How will she make it through this? How could anyone treat her this way? What have I done? What can I do to fix it?
God saw our struggle.
And He stepped in.
In the weeks and months that followed, our mighty protector revealed His plan.
He swept us up in His loving arms and calmed my hurting heart. He soothed the wounded soul of my desperate, darling daughter.
And I watched.
I watched in awe as our Heavenly Father revealed another path. A path of hope. A path of possibility.
He led us to and placed her in a completely new school environment.
Safely.
Perfectly.
An environment in which she has flourished for these past ten years.
When I take the time to be with Him, I can see it all.
The common strands that are evident in our yesterdays. And continue into today.
God was stitching our past and our present together. Like the two halves of those flannel hearts.
Not with fear ~ but by His glory!
Infusing our seasons with joy.
Our lives with love.
…
Stories like this along our journey have become a quilt of comfort, of sorts. Bringing relief during times of transition and fluctuating futures.
Our difficult days become patched with patience.
Tempered with trust.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
Because of His healing, we can see things differently.
Our tendency toward ambivalence can be a stone in our path, or it can be a tool of teaching. A step up to His ways that are higher.
To see His Sovereignty.
I have learned that if I saddle up with the enemy and let fear take hold, I become the one who poisons the passions that Emma holds dear.
My anxieties become the weight that crush her spirit that I fought so desperately to preserve all those years ago.
So instead, as she contemplates her future I will encourage her to listen to His leading.
To take His hand and walk these years alongside her Savior. To discover the grandeur that He has prepared for her.
Their journey.
His blessings.
When we lift the heavy burden of fear, we find that joy rushes in to provide fresh air. A new perspective to illuminate our days.
We can see more clearly the path that lies ahead.
…
We were looking at some of her childhood Valentine picture books the other day. One of her favorite lines: “I love you…miles and miles forever”.
Like the roots of that hyacinth, I watch as my Sweet Louise grows roots of her own, deep in His abiding love. Roots of strength and courage that go on for miles to carry her long into her future.
And in the meantime… I have the joy of watching this passage of time as God is growing her life.
Beautiful.
Fragrant.
Coming to full bloom.
Just as He has envisioned.
My Sweet Louise 
Please share your thoughts.