D.I.Y.

It all started with “This Old House” on PBS back in the ’80s.

Then it was YouTube.  You could find anything, there. Now, there’s even a DIY network. And the dreamer’s favorite “do-it-yourself” destination…

Pinterest.

The notion that we can take on these tasks that we watch the pros do with ease. Just grab a few tools, a little bit of time and you’re on your way to completing a project yourself.

A sense of accomplishment.

There’s something empowering about that.

I must admit, as a single mom, I’ve tackled more projects at home than I ever thought I could. I’ve become quite handy with my power tools and a square.  I enjoy light carpentry work ~ I’ve made some shelving for storage. I’ve built hive boxes and frames for our honey bees. Replaced a kitchen faucet, installed a new dryer vent in the crawl space (yuk), and even did some simple plumbing in the past. (Well…that one ended in my calling the plumber. But we need not talk about that right now ~ LOL.)

We have a fascination with being able to do things ourselves. We boost our self confidence. We can often save a few bucks and there’s a tremendous sense of achievement, motivating us to take on even more next time. Growing our courage to venture into the unknown.

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For the past few months, it’s been a bit of a construction zone around here.

I feel like it’s make-over time.

No…not a fresh hairdo and a wardrobe full of new clothing. No room additions or a whole house demolition. Similar to that, though it seems. I guess you could call it a sort of ‘home’ transformation.

You see, God’s taking on some tough projects with me right now. Re-doing my heart. Carving out compassion and refining some really rough edges of judgement. He’s been sanding down my pride and buffing and shining Grace in me.

Soul work. 

It’s been going on for sometime now. To me it seems too long. But that’s because I’m referencing my worldly schedule. Timelines. Calendars. The measure of progress.

And something seems askew. Isn’t there a deadline we’re going to miss?! Maybe the zoning guy is off on vacation right now. Ha!

But there is always intention in His plan.

God’s ways are perfect.

His time is infinite.Like so many times before, I can spend this opportunity wrestling with the work in me. Or, I can bend to His Plan in my life. The choice is mine. However, the older I get, I can assure you…when the pain begins its tight-hold, I am apt to turn my head and pay attention more quickly.

I have spent years not recognizing His work in me. Resisting the uncomfortable. Denying the possibility that it could be time for ‘construction’ again.

Hadn’t we just been through this, Lord?

I finally felt like I could catch my breath, and now this?!

I’m reluctant to change.

Especially when it appears that this growth will be a major undertaking. An apparent overhaul of perspective. Not just those little tweaks in attitude. No…this is a time when God needs to bring out the power tools. And with that, comes pain.

Emotional suffering.

Psychological struggle.

And spiritual challenge.

I have heard it said many times before that new construction is less costly than a renovation.

I think that same premise maybe true in our lives.

For me, sometimes it feels like He’s tearing me down completely, to re-make my heart. Or the feeling of breaking may come from my own sin. Of holding on to the ways that I know aren’t beneficial for me.  Pushing down the angst I’m really feeling.

I find ways to hide. 

Believing that it’s safer in the darkness. Maybe no one will find me here. The backwards thinking that destroys me every time. Retreating from the world, but in reality so very much crying out to be seen. To be noticed. To be held.

And that’s where His work begins, again.

He tests the strength of my faith in His power.

My resilience to His unfathomable love. My endurance. He stretches every boundary of my vision of Him ~ challenging me to grasp even a fragment of who He truly is. Drawing me closer with every new project.

That’s how He does it in my life.

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Where does He find you?

How does He fashion beautiful mysteries of change in your heart?

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We have heard it said hundreds of times.

If we didn’t know pain, we wouldn’t know joy.

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I was reminded this week by a text from a friend that I am safe here in this moment with Christ.

Even the times of trial.

For He is who I put my trust in.

I watch as He creates in me the design that He imagined from the start.

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He took the traumatic abuse of my childhood and turned it into an opportunity to do His work. That I might understand and comfort those who have also experienced the shattering of innocence at such a young and tender age. To be the arms of solace. To share His love and experience of healing.

Jesus walked me through those times when I felt so alone ~ my (ex)husband emotionally absent from our marriage. The excruciating loss of miscarriage. The suffering of an alcoholic relationship, and the bitter taste of divorce. On the other side of these lessons I have come to know Him with an intimacy and Trust that I never could have imagined.

God has used my journey of single-motherhood to grow my faith in Him. To completely surrender my needs and dreams, and watch as He continues to provide for my Sweet Louise and me every day. Every month. Every year. He knows us better than we know ourselves.

In the loneliness of night when I ache to be held, He is there. As I wonder how many more years will pass before He brings to my life a faithful husband, a companion in Christ, and a stronghold for our little family. I look to the Cross and see all the love that my heart could ever hold.

His sacrifice, a depth of commitment that I will never encounter on this earth.

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So, when the enemy tries to ensnare our thoughts and direct our path by way of sin in this world, our Father God has other plans. And He always wins.

His Plans are greater.

His ways are higher.

When it may look like just another difficult trek on my journey, I have to pause for a moment and consider my past. The ways that He has proven His great love for me.

The Sovereign One.

For we are all His masterpieces.

And He will continue to create in us all, the beautiful souls that we were intended to be.

In His image. His likeness.

We have always been and will forever be His greatest love.

With that, He reconstructs our framework to hold strong in Him. To withstand the challenges and storms. And those interiors of our hearts, well… they could use a fresh coat of paint every now and then.

Something beautiful, to reflect His light into this hurting world.

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

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So in this age of “do it yourself”, I have come to learn that Christ is the only one who can complete the real project.

The construct of being. 

Relying on worldly imitations ~ more money in the bank, new wardrobes to fill our closet, credentials behind a name.  All of these are impostors that do nothing to bring us closer to our true identity. To who we are in Christ.

These fill-ins will always leave us short-handed and wanting more.

Yeah…those Pinterest images are nice.  But in all their glamour, they are only a glimmer on an ocean of God’s goodness.

Our attempts to complete the fixer-upper we see in the mirror each day, are futile wisps compared to the Peace that can only be found in Him. And the magnificent Glory that awaits us in Heaven.

It takes a collaboration ~ of God’s work, and our allowance of that process.

He is the Master carpenter. The potter. 

And we are His incredible works of art.

Collectively, we are the complete oeuvre* of our Lord.

So, what better sense of assurance can we have?

There is none.

Bowing humbly at the foot of the Cross, we know that His blueprints for our lives always come out perfect!

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